Inexplicable Peace

There was no reason to feel at peace.

I was about to undergo a complicated eight hour cancer surgery.

I have multiple medication allergies and needed to take an antibiotic intravenously during the procedure.

Because of my allergies, the surgeon was unable to perform a CT scan of the area he would be reconstructing which meant he was going in "blind," unable to map out his strategy in advance.

My past experience with anesthesia wasn't pleasant - nausea and a longer than normal recovery time. And I had never been under for this length of time.

No, there was no reason to feel at peace and every reason to hold on to anxiety.

Just look at that long green line. That was my surgery compared to all the others that would be performed that day.

But despite the overwhelming potential for fear that human nature would dictate as totally understandable, there was peace. 

A supernatural, all-encompassing peace that passed understanding.

Normally a champion worrier, on Monday, April 2nd at 5:30 a.m., I rolled up to the hospital uncharacteristically fearless.

I felt the prayers of scores of people from all over the country being lifted on my behalf. I knew I was on the prayer list of at least half a dozen churches, as well as family, friends, and friends of friends. So many assuring me they were praying and encouraging others to pray as well.

In the prep room, I opened my Bible for one last word of encouragement. My eyes fell on Psalm 121.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, He who watches over you will not slumber, indeed He who watches over Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps. The Lord watches over you, the Lord is your shade at your right hand, the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

Moments later, the room was filled with a stream of doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists, and technicians each introducing themselves and sharing what roll they would play.

It took a few tries, but the intravenous port was put in and the gurney was rolled toward the operating room.

From that point on, I remember very little. A few seconds of staring at the ceiling and the next thing I knew, someone was calling my name asking if I was awake.

I vaguely remember the voice telling me I had a button in my hand I could push if I needed more pain medication. I recall expressing concern that in my stupor I would push too often and overdose.

They assured me that wasn't possible and encouraged me to take as much as I needed.

One of the nurses informed my sister and daughter that she would be working in ICU all week. I piped up with an old comedy comeback, "try the veal."

My joke-cracking put my family more at ease. They kissed me goodnight and headed home to get some rest.

It was 10:30 pm.

I learned later that the eight hour surgery had actually taken nine and a half. The reconstruction effort had hit an enigma.

The last thing the plastic surgeon had said to me was that because he was going in without the benefit of the CT scan, if he encountered something complex, he might not be able to do the reconstruction as we had discussed.

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, but apparently I am a little more unique than most. 

The snag hit was the discovery of a second vascular system on my left side. It took the surgeon the extra time to follow the veins and "untangle" them.

I also learned that a portion of rib needed removal in order to reattach all the veins.

None of this surprised the Great Physician, and He graced my surgeon with the knowledge and talent needed to understand how to work through the difficulty.

All of this occurred while I rested in perfect peace.

If anyone told me even at the end of last year what the past four months would look like and how I would handle them, I would have said they were crazy.

My biggest fear for a long time has been surgery of any type because of my many allergies. Now I have come through a HUGE surgery with multiple surgical sites and not only survived it, but got through it carried in peace every step of the way.

I have received dozens of cards in my recovery, but today I received one where the sentiment seemed particularly perfect as I write this post. It was written by Roy Lessin, author and co-founder of DaySpring cards.

"When we are going through tough times in our lives, Jesus doesn't stand on the outside of our difficulties. He is in the midst of each thing we walk through in life. He is there to speak peace to us, to calm the storm, to assure us of victory, and to walk with us into a new day."

My friend, I don't know what you're facing today, but I know God's inexplicable peace is possible no matter what. I've experienced it first hand.

But I also know we need to seek His peace daily because things of this world come against us relentlessly, trying to shake our faith and the peace that comes with it. I've experienced that first-hand as well.

Trust Him to be there for you through it all.

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."

Picture Credit: Nathan Greene - Chief of the Medical Staff