You Are Invited

In my last blog post, Broken Wings, I encouraged those who were hurting to allow God to use their brokenness to be an encouragement to others.  I also said when we expose that brokenness, then others have an opportunity to offer help and to pray for us.

Today, I am exposing some of that brokenness in me.  

I have battled a "weight problem" for more years than I care to remember.  But the problem is not my weight.  It is all the underlying causes - from my inability to battle the cravings that lead to the weight gain to the pride that keeps me from fully submitting the issues to God and a few more things in between.

There are a host of excuses I could offer up...totally justifiable explanations if you asked me just last week.

Like the fact that I deliberately started to gain so that false accusations of infidelity by a mentally and verbally abusive spouse would stop.  After all, men don't pay as much attention to the heavy girls, right?

But the mocking of and disgust over my weight gain by that very same person contributed to a downward spiral of emotional eating whenever I was depressed, happy, lonely, fearful, anxious or just disgusted with myself. Unfortunately, blaming the other party only holds so much water.  I've been out of that abusive relationship for 7 years, and I am still unable to drop anywhere near all the pounds for any length of time.

Sometimes I'd try to diet - all sensible approaches - but nothing gave lasting results.  30 pounds down, I would begin a slow but steady climb back up...over and over during the past 15 - 20 years.

Then, the other day, I read about  Proverbs 31 OBS - OBS for Online Bible Study - on the (in)courage web site.  The study?  "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst.

I saw the cover picture of the book and thought "I have that somewhere". Someone, at some point in time, had given it to me. Perhaps, for such a time as this.  I was amazed that in my extensive library of books, I was able to put my hands on it in just a minute or two.  Must be a sign.

The subtitle is "Satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food".  I need to know how to do that.

So, I went online and signed up.  It was easy.  Far easier than I'm assuming this study will be.  Submission is never a simple task.  It is a deliberate act of the will.  And remember, being willful is one of my "issues".

This quote from Chapter 1 told me that Lysa really understands what I'm dealing with..."The weight loss company's theory is to teach what foods are more filling and encourage consumption of those.  But does that really help overcome cravings?  For me, it does not.  The answer will never be found in only learning to modify my choices.  Choosing better foods is certainly a part of this journey.  However, simply telling me to eat healthier foods that will help me feel full longer doesn't address the heart of the matter.  I can feel full after a meal and still crave chocolate pie for dessert."

Yep, Lysa TerKeurst gets it...and I'm excited to read and discuss how she will address the heart of the matter.

The OBS starts today, Sunday, January 19th.  It goes for six weeks.  While the subtitle mentions food, this is a study that I am told will help you with whatever that craving is that you give in to and put before God.  You can read more about it by clicking through on the Proverbs 31 OBS link in this post.

Although I'd love to lose some weight, I'm more excited over the possibility of once and for all learning how I can take these misplaced cravings and transfer them into a greater craving for God.  I trust and believe the rest will follow.

I'm asking for your prayers as I embark on this journey.  Putting something like this out there for all to see is a scary step for me.  But there are over 36,000 women from all over the world who will be taking this path along with me over the next 6 weeks. You are invited too...will you join me?

Toting Baggage

Yesterday I worked a bi-annual event called "Homeless Connect Day" in Trenton, New Jersey. Several non-profits host the event where the homeless can receive hair cuts, vision care, acupuncture, chiropractic services, massages and health screenings. In addition, they can pick up information on housing, VA benefits, legal assistance, receive help getting an ID so they can get benefits, and more. Clothing and food are also available.

In order to get these services, attendees must first answer a brief questionnaire to gather information on a number of factors regarding their homelessness. The compiled information is used when planning projects, lobbying for funding and more. 

I've been working these events for the past 3 years stationed in the "exit booth". It's my job to ask attendees what they did and didn't like about the event, how they heard about it, what was most helpful and what was missing that might have been beneficial for them.

That's how I met Denise. 

Many attendees just want to gather their "freebies", food and leave, but Denise needed to talk, so I listened. 

She told me she was grateful for the places around the city where she could stay, but her great need was for a place to leave her things during the day. Many shelters only provide a bed for the night, and come morning, all her possessions need to be packed up and toted with her everywhere throughout the day. 

Denise's health was suffering from the energy required to do that day in and day out - in the extreme heat of summer and the freezing cold of winter.

As a result, when I offered her some free items her response was "no thank you - I just can't add to the weight of what I already have to carry around. In fact, I may just give you back this bottle of water because it's so heavy."

I encouraged her not to return it, but instead to drink it along the way - it was an extremely hot day and the water would be beneficial.

As she left the event to face the challenge of her burden, I wondered how many of us carry our baggage like Denise...not physically, but spiritually.

We don't have to be homeless  to lug our baggage wherever we go.  

We may very well have a nice roof over our heads and a comfortable bed to sleep in every night, but we're still carrying our "stuff" with us day in and day out. 

And it's beginning to wear us down...tax our strength and our heath.  We don't know how to let it go and think we can't function without it. 

It's become part of our daily routine. 

In fact, rather than unpack it to lighten the load, we wish there was a place to keep it safe. We may even refuse a free gift and life-giving water because our hands are so full, what's being offered looks like it will just weigh us down further. 

In Matthew 11:29-30, Jesus said "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  When we take on His yoke, we are able to lay down our burdens - the trade doesn't increase the weight - it lightens the load.

And in John 4:13-14 we are told "Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." Once again, the trade off is for something that is far better.

So what is weighing you down today? 

What baggage do you need to unpack? 

Anger?  Shame?  Jealousy?  Pride?  Hatred?  Loneliness?

Don't store it away.  Those types of burdens get heavier over time. 

And don't carry them with you wherever you go...they will affect everything else you try to do.

Right now, open your suitcase. Ask God to remove all the things that make it difficult to move forward. As He discards the burdensome hurts and issues He'll fill it with free things that are light as a feather - His love, His peace, His mercy.

Then drink deeply of the water He offers. You'll never be thirsty again.