Last Sunday's Chicken

In my first post of the new year, I talked about the Prayer Walk at my church and mentioned that there were several speakers.  One of them was my friend Renata Barnes-Ade.  Renata is quite a character.  She shies from the camera with cries of "I've got felonies out on me, what are you doing??" and affectionately calls me "T-bone".   She is also a woman of God who has a strong faith, is a prayer warrior and has a real way with words.  I asked her for her notes from the walk in order to share some of her thoughts with all of you.  With the promise of giving her "propers", she's informed me that she won't charge for sharing her intellectual property lol.  What follows is an abbreviated version of some of the challenging thoughts she shared on prayer...

"This is a difficult topic, for me, and us, to talk about and to hear. Anyone who has sat in church or been to a woman’s conference, small group, youth group, prayer conference, read “Our Daily Bread”, read any popular Bible study by any number of people over the past 2 decades, seen or worn a t-shirt sporting a catchy blurb of Christian jargon, i.e. “Prayer Changes Things”…can no doubt attest to the prevailing topic of prayer and its importance.   I tried to think of a slick acronym that would help us remember to pray and how make it “productive”.   I thought that I would come up with some 5 point plan that could lead us all to another “Ah-Ha” moment about prayer. Then I was suddenly, or not so suddenly, struck with the stark, blunt, ugly truth that many of us know but would never cop to. It sat like bad taste in my mouth and a horrible thought I couldn’t shake. We don’t pray. We don’t pray. We. Don’t. Pray. 

Why is it that we don’t pray? We don’t pray individually and we seldom pray corporately and when we do, the unfamiliarity is almost palpable. 

I have found in life that you make time for the things you want to make time for and you make excuses for everything else.   That includes people and things.   When we've spent 3 hours on Facebook or in mindless activities and see the day passing, and then think of prayer, we either clump it in with "bless the kids in Biafra" or tact it on to “Now I lay me down to sleep".  Too often we give God last Sunday’s chicken on Wednesday…refrigerator-dried, with sauce and fat all congealed in the most “tor up” 20 year old Tupperware containers.  

Ya know…no one likes to be an afterthought, invited after all the invitations have been sent.  Think of how you've felt when someone said “Oh dear, I forgot all about you”.  Imagine doing that to God?  Jeremiah 2:32 says “Can a virgin forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire?  Yet My people have forgotten Me days without number."  They forgot so long that even God no longer counted the days...are you guilty of that?

 I believe that God is not as caught up with where we pray, but that we pray and how we pray.   Although prayer on the run is necessary at times, it is not the prayer that tends to drive us closer.  

Obviously, the enemy wants to impede this crucial communication. This, too, we know.  In prayer we are open, or should be, to not only disrobing in front of God ,showing ourselves as we truly are, but having God reveal more of himself to us…which draws us closer to Him. If our relationship with God is based on knowing Him, why is it that we neglect to actually, “converse”, with him?   Why have we allowed ourselves to submit our request to Him and then get up and leave, never considering that perhaps He may have a request of us?

If we indeed believe that “Prayer Changes Things” and we can look around at the hell that is in our world, in some of our homes, and undoubtedly in some of our hearts, why do we not fight harder to not only build but maintain this crucial contact?    Does the prospect of change in our situation seem so unattainable that we choose to stay stagnant?   Or is it that we are afraid that the most needed change is in us? We all know that, as Paul says, "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”   But that is not a 'pass' to relinquish trying. There is power in prayer…in the doing of it and the having it done on your behalf. There is a product that comes from the act of prayer and that is a growing fellowship with our Father who equips us. It takes our knowledge of God out of the realm of past glories and brings it into the presence of what His spirit is doing now - in this world , in our hearts and lives, and in the lives of others.  If we want to see change, we need to be willing to engage in a deliberate prayer relationship with God, and not be so easily willing to be usurped by the life we have been given. If we are being honest, we are not as busy as we say we are, or we use our busyness as an excuse." 

Renata asks a really good question right up front...why don't we pray?  Prayer changes things - around us and inside of us - and we grow in relationship with our Father when we take the time. But time isn't really the issue if we're honest - as she also said, we find the time to do the things we want to do.  

So you've got to ask yourself...is there a reason I don't want to speak to God?  Are you afraid?  Afraid he won't hear you or know you or care about you?  Isaiah 41:10 says "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."  Are you ashamed?  Micah 7:18-19 says "Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.  You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea."  God wants us to speak with him...he desires that we bring our concerns and hurts to him...and he delights in our praises.  He gives us peace, strength and wisdom.  Why would you not want to tap into that power source?  The song "On My Knees" by Jaci Velasquez talks about that power we experience when we're "before the love that changes" us. 

I've written about prayer before.  How to pray isn't some great cosmic secret.  It involves a conversation.  No need to even introduce yourself - He knows who you are.  He created you. 

So stop what you're doing right now. There's no time like the present.   You took the time to read this post...before you do another thing, spend a few more minutes talking to a Friend - He's waiting to hear from you, He's ready to forgive and empower you, and He has things He wants to share with you too.  Things really do change  through prayer...but first, you've gotta pray.  As Jeremiah 29:12-13 says "In those days when you pray,  I will listen.  If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."  Toss that old, dried out, chicken leg.  No more leftovers for God.  Go find Him first...and with your whole heart - everything else can wait.

Life, Death and Birthdays

Saturday is my 51st birthday.  I can say that without too much crying these days, but I had a lot of trouble wrapping my mind around that big 'ol 50 number last year.  Perhaps people are being kind, but I'm generally told I don't look it.  I don't think I act like it, and my daughter often buys me clothes to make sure I don't dress like it ("No mom jeans, mom!").  Most days I don't feel like it - although I've noticed that it takes longer to heal from a strained muscle and I'm a little more tired than I used to be after a full day on my feet.  Rainy weather also brings out a few more aches and pains than it used to. 

The optimists say "it's just a number!"  The pessimists say "you think 50's bad...wait til you hit MY age!"  But most often, when I think about my age, I can't help but think that the number is 5...now almost 6... years more than the age my mom was when she departed this life.

I've been thinking about life and death and the years we're given a lot this week.  Two years ago, my mother's sister, my beloved "Aunt Ro", died on my birthday.  Ro had been gifted with 74 years.  Yesterday, I attended the celebration of life for a friend of mine who passed away last Thursday. Daveida had been gifted just 41.  While my aunt was far too young to die in my humble opinion, losing my mom and Daveida in their 40's was and is extremely difficult.  I took Daveida's passing hard, in part because it rocketed me back 25 years to when I said goodbye to my mom.  Like my mom, Daveida valiantly fought breast cancer for a number of years, even as it infiltrated other parts of her body.  Like my mom, she left behind 3 children and a grandchild.  Like my mom, she left this world far too soon for those who loved her.  And like my mom, she loved Jesus with everything in her, never wallowing in self pity over what she was going through, but rather spent her time encouraging others despite her own pain.

When we're young, we're contantly wishing we were older.  We want to reach those milestones of "double-digits", "sweet 16", "17 and driving", "18 and considered an 'adult'", 21 and "legal".  We're in such a rush to age we add fractions to the number...I'm 10...and a half, 12...and three quarters.  Then we hit 29 and we want it all to slow down.  Now we're 29 with a years' experience.   Why are we never satisfied to enjoy where we are in life? 

Job 14:5 says "Man's days are determined, you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed."  And Psalm 90:12 says "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom". 

We are given...gifted...a certain number of hours, days, months, years.  They are determined and we cannot exceed them.  I don't know why some are given more on this side of heaven than others, but that is the way it is, and the way it will always be.  BUT...no matter how many we have, we should "number our days aright - that we may gain a heart of wisdom."  We need to live knowing that they are numbered - not in fear of their coming to a close, but in consciously living them to the fullest, doing what we are called to do, and gaining a heart of wisdom.

My mom, my aunt, my friend...they got that.  Those who came in contact with them left in better spirits than when they came.  They left encouraged by the faith these women had, by their love for their Lord, by the knowledge - the wisdom - they had in knowing they were fulfilling God's purpose for their lives for as long as they drew breath on this earth...and that they would hear 'well done, good and faithful servent' when they finished this race and crossed into eternity. 

You may have heard the about "the dash".  There's the year you are born, and the year you die on your gravestone...and between them is the dash.  It's all the time you've spent here on earth in between those 2 dates.  It's the lives you've touched, the difference you've made, the legacy you've created.  We need to live each one of our years in the dash to the full. 

The day after Daveida went home to be with the Lord, I read this in my devotional, Jesus Calling:  "Try to view each day as an adventure, carefuly planned out by your Guide.  Instead of staring into the day that is ahead of you, attempting to program it according to your will, be attentive to Me and to all I have prepared for you.  Thank Me for this day of life, recognizing that it is a precious, unrepeatable gift."  Daveida is living the ultimate adventure today.  She, along with my mom and aunt are face to face with their precious Lord and Savior.  But for now, I still have days gifted to me here.  God's work in me is not yet done, and to bemoan the time I've been given, to complain about 'my age', is not a good use of my time.

So as I reflect on life and death and the time we're given inbetween, I'm learning a few things - don't be in a rush - don't tack on halfs and three quarters.  Don't live in the past thinking of what might have been - you will miss today's adventure.  Be grateful for the age you are - it is a gift - whether the years are 41, 74, 45 or 51.  Your days are numbered, and they are to be used 'aright'.   Love God, love others, make a difference, and gain a heart of wisdom.

Prayer, Snacks, Legos, Stones, Armor, a Walk and Resolutions

Yesterday I joined dozens of other women on the 3rd Annual Prayer Walk at my church.  It's a time to hear some words of inspiration, then visit a number of stations throughout the church assembled to create places to search our hearts, reflect, pray, surrender, and fellowship with God.

The Walk is something I've looked forward to for awhile.  You see, the busyness of outreach during the holidays and the holidays themselves kept me, well, busy.  Then after burning the candle at both ends, running my body down and being surrounded by sickies, I succumbed to a bad cold.  And it wasn't pretty.  12 days later, I'm just starting to feel better.  Pretty sure last week's vision of no makeup on my puffy face, swollen eyes, and red nose is something my office mates pray they never have to see again!  Anyway, I'm ashamed to say my time with God has been limited at best these past few weeks. 

From the beginning of the Walk, it was obvious that God was speaking to me.   The first speaker got up and told a story of a woman who shared with a friend that she needed to sit down to a meal with God.  Her friend encouraged her that sometimes, it's okay when life is crazy, to at least grab 'snacks' along the way.  I believe it was also this speaker who said, "take the time you can, and always shoot for more."

I hadn't had so much as a cereal bar in days.  I think sometimes when we desire that meal, we don't take advantage of the snacks because we adopt an 'all or nothing' mindset.  I had been feeling too tired to sit up and read my Bible let alone spend a concentrated time in prayer, so instead of reading a verse, or even a minute-long devotional, I'd done nothing but stare at a TV screen in between cough medicine induced nap times.

As a friend and I discussed speaker content last night, I found myself saying "yeah, if you even take the time to read that devotional or verse, at least you have a morsel to gnaw on throughout the day...something to meditate on and gain strength from as you have time."  I've got 20/20 hindsight.  Of course, I'm sure the situation will present itself again, so I need to remember my own wisdom!

The second speaker talked about praying in the now.  Not saying "I'll pray for you" knowing full well life will get busy and, even if you have the best intentions, you're likely to forget that request by bedtime.  So she suggested doing something that has been a habit of mine for awhile...when someone asks for prayer, don't say you will, stop and do it.  Right then.  As she put it, it doesn't have to be of the depth and length of an Oswald Chambers writing, but it shows the person that you care enough about them to carve out a few minutes in your day for them.  Another suggestion which I also subscribe to is to type out that prayer.  I've done it on chat screens on Facebook, through text or via email.  I simply type what I'd say out loud.  Now that person has something they can go back to and draw strength from too.

The last speaker spoke of a man who wrote about hitting a dry spell.  He went to a counselor and confessed one of the problems he experienced was that he often grew tired as he was praying, sometimes nodding off.  The counselor suggested that he was looking at prayer as a 'need to' and not a 'want to' and told him not to deliberately go to prayer for a week, but rather, do things that he enjoyed and invite Jesus along.  As that man walked along the shoreline, he suddenly realized he was having discussions with God about what he saw and things that came to mind - he called them walking prayers.  There were other 'types' of prayers too, like 'paper prayers'.  When he hit a sermon roadblock, received an unkind email, anything like that, he'd spread the papers out before God and pray over them asking for guidance. 

After the speakers shared, we set out.  With a visual using a map and Lego blocks, the first station encouraged us to excel in the gifts God has given us to build each other up. 

The second station contained 3 part instructions.  The first was to read Matthew 7:23-27 which is the story of the wise man who built his house on the rock, and the foolish man who built his on sand.  When the storms came, the house on the rock stood firm while the house on the sand fell "and great was its fall."  

We were told to ask God where our foundation with him was faulty and how it needed to be fixed.  We then took a stone, wrote those faults, and surrendered them to God as we lay the stone in a sand pit.  

The second part was to read 2 Samuel 22:3 "My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation.  He is my stronghold, my refuge and my Savior - from violent men you save me."  We were to reflect on how God has shown His strength in our life.  We took a small rock with us to remind us to build our house on Him.

The third part was to read Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain."  This one was really convicting...the directions said 'just because God is the foundation, doesn't give us the right to build our 'house' (our life) to look however we want it to.  Often we start to draw our own blueprint of expectations, dreams, and desires.  Pray about what those things are in your life.  What have you started to build on your own?'  We took a piece of blueprint paper, folded it in half and wrote on one side, all that we had planned, dreamt and desired for our house, and on the other side, the things we believed God was calling us to do - his plans for our house.  We then needed to compare to see where they matched and where there were differences - then surrender our blueprint to God.

Those who know me best, know for the last two years, there has been a word that has come to me over and over...one I sometimes wish was struck from the English language.  Surrender.  Why is it so hard to take our hands off things?  Even after we've messed things up?  Even when we know surrender brings peace and the lack thereof brings pain?  Yes, I'm saying 'we' and not 'me' because I know I'm not alone in this, am I.

The third station was based on Ephesians 6 - putting on the full armor of God.  A worksheet encouraged us to think of a recent situation that had challenged us and how we could apply each of the pieces of armor to it as well as create a 'personal shield of armor' that contained a scripture about God's protection, things in our life that we wanted protection for and from, and an image or symbol to think of when we need protecting.  

The fourth and final station was our Worship Center.  There was praise music playing, people to pray with you if you had a specific request, and a table at which to take communion.  There is something incredibly moving as you see people carve out a private place to speak with God.  Some on their knees, some bowed in prayer in their seats, some prostrate at the alter.  It is holy ground.

Once I left these ‘snack stations’ I was really hungry for that meal.  It’s been weeks since it’s been warm enough to brave a walk by the lake, but yesterday was perfect – warm and in the mid 60's.  I headed there as quickly as I could.  For the next hour, I gloried in the warmth of the sunshine.  Now that the leaves were all gone, I noticed things in the woods surrounding the lake that had been obscured when the foliage was full.  Even during this 'barren' season, there was beauty when I took the time to see it.  I haven't made a New Year's resolution in a long time, usually responding to the question of what mine are with "I can't break what I don't make."  But, I think this year I'll make an exception.  I will 'snack' every day.  I will live and operate and pray in the now.  I will invite Jesus along everywhere I go.  I will sit down to full meals with Him...extended times of prayer and study...at least once a month, and always shoot for more.  I will make a concentrated effort to build others up and not tear them down, I will keep an eye on my foundation and check it often to make sure my blueprint stays true to the original by the Master Builder.  I will dress in armor (I'm sure my fashionista daughter can help me accessorize!) and keep my knees close to the floor.

It's All About the Details...Or Is It?

When I woke up Saturday morning, one of the first emails I saw was from "God's Daily Promises" with the title "Details, details".  It caught my eye because I'd been up since 4:30 that morning unable to shut off my brain.  For the past 2+ hours I'd been running details for our church's Christmas Store through my head.  We were opening our doors to families in need, allowing them to purchase toys for 10 cents or less on the dollar.  A kind of charity with dignity that allowed them to choose their children's gifts and have them wrapped, rather than receive a handout.  

Over 150 families had been invited and RSVPs had not be required for a variety of reasons, so we were totally in the dark as to how to shop and what to expect.  To complicate matters further, it had been less than 5 weeks from the inception of the idea to date of fruition.  All types of last minute loose ends came to mind and I began to toss and turn.  After a day that had included 12 hours of set up, shopping, another period of set up, then standing outside in the cold for awhile to carol during our Living Nativity which was also going on that weekend, my body was aching.  Since I'd gone to bed late, the hours of actual rest totalled less than 4...and I knew Saturday would be an even tougher go.

I thought about opening the email to see what encouragement I could find, but the time crunch kept me from it.  By 7:45, I was sitting in a diner booth having breakfast with a friend before heading over to the church to face all those potential issues I'd concerned myself with in the wee hours of the morning.  Right off the bat, I was caught off guard.  I had a driving team going to a local shelter to pick up some ladies and their kids, but the keys to the van were missing.  As one of the team began calling 1, 2, 3 people and counting to see who had the keys, I lost it.  I knew it was the exhaustion taking hold, but I just cried like a baby.  Two of my friends tried to comfort me and one of them reminded me of something I'd said just minutes before - "this isn't my outreach, it's God's, and I know He's going to take care of all the details."  Man can I forget quickly.

Eventually, the keys were recovered and the person who had absent-mindly taken them home felt awful about the oversight.  We had only lost half an hour with that phase of the outreach, and in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't earth-shattering or deal breaking.  Certainly nothing to cry over.  The rest of the day ran as smoothly as a first time event of a huge magnitude could.  Both volunteers and recipients had experienced something divinely put together and lives were touched.  At the end of the day, the blessings went even further as unsold toys were bagged and given to another organization looking for unwrapped gifts to give other children in need.

The following day, I went back and opened up that email and read, "But the Lord said to her, "My dear Martha, you are so upset over all these details! There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it — and I won't take it away from her."  Luke 10:41-42 NLT.

The author went on to say "I can relate to Martha. If I were planning a party, she'd be the one I'd ask to help. Martha knows everything needs to be just right.  But Jesus stopped her.  'My dear Martha,' he said, 'you are so upset over all these details!…'  Jesus took Mary's side. He said that Mary was the one who had the right idea. She did nothing but listen and was praised; Martha did everything but listen and was chastised.  The Lord's priorities are not the same as ours. Jesus isn't as concerned about our lace tablecloths and clean kitchens as we are. He's concerned with the state of our heart — the time we spend at his feet, reflecting on his words and resting in his presence."

At the moment of my tears, I was more concerned about the details that weren't in place than in seeking the face of the One who's in all the details.  I knew I couldn't and shouldn't do things in my own power, yet there I was crying over what was out of my control rather than praying.  I was tired, but knowing I was vulnerable should have given me all the more reason to hand over the reigns I had no right holding.  Thank goodness I surround myself with others who are like Mary, who can remind me where to look and what's important if I lose sight of it.

Triumphs and Trials

I can't believe I haven't posted in 3 weeks.  So much has happened in that time.  Life has been very good and very hard.  Days have been filled with unbelievable joy and immeasurable sorrow...but I guess as friend of mine always says "that's life".

So what's the lesson today?  Happiness is fleeting, but sorrow is not permanent either.  Don't look at your circumstances because they will always be in flux - look for how God is moving in them because He never changes.  That's not a trite, feel good suggestion, it's a lifeline in the midst of storms.  Persevere.  While happiness is fleeting, joy in the Lord is rooted deep.  While sorrow is not permanent, it can knock you for a loop if you're not grounded.  God is the great stabilizer. 

I try to remind myself of these things as I go through the day.  I rejoice in the amazing way God is working in and through our outreach ministry, even as my heart breaks over devastating personal trials. 

My last post talked about the story of the widow and Elisha and one small jar filling many pots.  I equated it to some personal finance issues.  But I saw it happen in an even bigger way this month.  I saw God's provision pressed down and overflowing.  My church found an idea for a 'toy store' in an online publication called "The Best Externally Focused Ideas of 2011" put out by the Externally Focused Network.  (Google them, they are a wonderful resource!)  It was a way to give the gift of dignity to struggling families at the holidays.  We purchased hundreds of toys and are making them available to people in our community for just 10% of their value.  Parents will get to shop for a toy of their choice for their child rather than receive a handout.  They have the dignity of paying for the item and the fun of gift wrapping it.  The challenge was that we were asked to make this happen in a period of approximately 4-5 weeks.  We estimated the needed capital would be about $8,000.  At the start we had no venue, differences of opinion on which groups to invite and no funds.  4 weeks later, we have the place, all the groups suggested for participation plus some, and $8,600 in funds.  Nothing but God.  And I got to watch His hand move it all together.  Awe inspiring, trust me.

At the same time, I have been dealing with an immediate family member going through a disabling battle with anxiety and panic attacks.  Trips to the crisis center, the ups and downs of medications and mood swings, arguments over treatment options.  It's been a very dark time, and one of intense spiritual battle.  I have been praying for this person for a long time, asking God to move in his heart.  If I just looked at the circumstances, I might tempted to be angry at God for allowing all this to happen...but I'm trying to see what God is doing in the circumstances.  Is he softening his heart?  Breaking down the anger and pride?  We dislike pain, but sometimes it's needed to achieve a result.  'No pain, no gain' is not just about getting the outer man in shape.

All of this has taught me anew that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.  That just because I am a child of God does not mean my life will be devoid of hardship.  In fact, sometimes it seems that the more God blesses in one area, the more Satan rails against us affecting what he can with his limited power in another.  So I hold on to the truth in Psalm 9:9 & 10 "The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." 


Are you going through trials today? This world holds many.  But God holds the world.  Look for what God is doing in the circumstances.  Ask Him to show you how He's working things together.  You may not see it today, or tomorrow, or this year.  But trust Him.  He is not fleeting.  He is permanent.   He will never forsake you.