Buggy-eyed Fears

I was blissfully unaware as I pulled the front door open to step into the evening air.

Moths, gnats and other flying insects were drawn to the light and as I waved them off, I glanced down to my right.  That's when I saw some THING clinging to the door just inches from my hand.

It was the biggest, ugliest bug I have ever laid eyes on. I wasn't going to whip out a tape measure at that moment, but it had to be almost 3 inches long.

I screamed.

I had to close the door, but this freaky, creepy crawly creature was mere inches from the knob.

I tried to slip my hand through the crack on the hinged side to coax the door closed.

It didn't work.

I debated leaving the door open, but feared it would make its way up the stairwell and into my apartment.

Unacceptable.

I whined and whimpered and called on Jesus as I made the decision to hold my breath, reach for the knob, and pull the door shut.

Success! 

I got into my car, skin crawling, and nervously looked around to see if it had followed me.

Paranoid? Hey, he could have flown...or crawled really fast...I didn't know if he had Super Bug powers!

My purpose in going out had been to pick up my son, and as we headed back home, I said "okay...now we're gonna pray that the HUGE, ugly beetle that was on the front door when I left, is gone."

As we approached the front step, my son told me to power up the flashlight app on my cell.  "I want to see what I'm dealing with" he said.

I fumbled with my phone, glancing toward where I'd last seen it and breathed a sigh of relief.

"I think it's gone".

Then I shined the light on the door.

There it was...right in the door jam next to the knob.

I screamed again. 

My son calmly used some papers in his hand to knock it to the ground and sweep it off the porch.

I knew that bug was still around, but now the way forward was clear and it was safe to move into the house.

I'm afraid all too often, I approach life's problems in much the same way as the encounter with that bug.

Although I've memorized "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6) the truth is, sometimes I don't go straight to prayer and I allow my fear to get a foothold.

Have you ever felt that way?

You're just cruising along one minute, and then panicked the next as you find yourself eyeball to eyeball with an unexpected circumstance?

Psalm 46: 1-3 promises "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.^"

Just like that bug was still somewhere once my son knocked it off the porch, our problems won't necessarily go away.  They may "roar and foam" or "quake", but handing over our fear allows God to step between us and our concerns and allows us to move forward in confidence, knowing He hems us in behind and before (Psalm 139:5).

So let's not allow problems, concerns, or fears hold us at bay.  Let's give them to God who isn't freaked out by them. 

Not even the great big ugly ones.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. I Peter 5:7


Photo credit Steffen Foerster - Dreamstime Stock Photos

Triumphs and Trials

I can't believe I haven't posted in 3 weeks.  So much has happened in that time.  Life has been very good and very hard.  Days have been filled with unbelievable joy and immeasurable sorrow...but I guess as friend of mine always says "that's life".

So what's the lesson today?  Happiness is fleeting, but sorrow is not permanent either.  Don't look at your circumstances because they will always be in flux - look for how God is moving in them because He never changes.  That's not a trite, feel good suggestion, it's a lifeline in the midst of storms.  Persevere.  While happiness is fleeting, joy in the Lord is rooted deep.  While sorrow is not permanent, it can knock you for a loop if you're not grounded.  God is the great stabilizer. 

I try to remind myself of these things as I go through the day.  I rejoice in the amazing way God is working in and through our outreach ministry, even as my heart breaks over devastating personal trials. 

My last post talked about the story of the widow and Elisha and one small jar filling many pots.  I equated it to some personal finance issues.  But I saw it happen in an even bigger way this month.  I saw God's provision pressed down and overflowing.  My church found an idea for a 'toy store' in an online publication called "The Best Externally Focused Ideas of 2011" put out by the Externally Focused Network.  (Google them, they are a wonderful resource!)  It was a way to give the gift of dignity to struggling families at the holidays.  We purchased hundreds of toys and are making them available to people in our community for just 10% of their value.  Parents will get to shop for a toy of their choice for their child rather than receive a handout.  They have the dignity of paying for the item and the fun of gift wrapping it.  The challenge was that we were asked to make this happen in a period of approximately 4-5 weeks.  We estimated the needed capital would be about $8,000.  At the start we had no venue, differences of opinion on which groups to invite and no funds.  4 weeks later, we have the place, all the groups suggested for participation plus some, and $8,600 in funds.  Nothing but God.  And I got to watch His hand move it all together.  Awe inspiring, trust me.

At the same time, I have been dealing with an immediate family member going through a disabling battle with anxiety and panic attacks.  Trips to the crisis center, the ups and downs of medications and mood swings, arguments over treatment options.  It's been a very dark time, and one of intense spiritual battle.  I have been praying for this person for a long time, asking God to move in his heart.  If I just looked at the circumstances, I might tempted to be angry at God for allowing all this to happen...but I'm trying to see what God is doing in the circumstances.  Is he softening his heart?  Breaking down the anger and pride?  We dislike pain, but sometimes it's needed to achieve a result.  'No pain, no gain' is not just about getting the outer man in shape.

All of this has taught me anew that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.  That just because I am a child of God does not mean my life will be devoid of hardship.  In fact, sometimes it seems that the more God blesses in one area, the more Satan rails against us affecting what he can with his limited power in another.  So I hold on to the truth in Psalm 9:9 & 10 "The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." 


Are you going through trials today? This world holds many.  But God holds the world.  Look for what God is doing in the circumstances.  Ask Him to show you how He's working things together.  You may not see it today, or tomorrow, or this year.  But trust Him.  He is not fleeting.  He is permanent.   He will never forsake you.