Turbulent Waters

I stood and watched the waters of the Delaware River move slowly up stream.

Then little white caps in the middle of the flow caught my eye.

Something was causing a disturbance.

There! The water nearest the shore I was standing on was moving in the opposite direction of the water by the far shore.

Surprisingly, the water was moving up stream and down stream.

At the same time!

The result was an area of turbulence.

"It's called an eddy" the property owner explained.

A river eddy is a current of water that moves contrary to the direction of the main current and can, at times, be churning and violent.

As the weekend progressed, I found myself drawn to watching the swirling waters, pondering the co-existence of opposing currents, not sure how it was possible.

A little research shed light on the mystery. Eddy's are generally caused by an obstruction under the surface such as a boulder-sized rock. It can also occur when the floor of the river bed experiences a chasm created by a steep drop.

The obstacle blocks the forward flow of the water and causes it to change its course around the area of  the object. In the same way, the drop in the river bed can cause water to swirl and change direction. The result is obvious turbulence above the surface.

When we move in the direction God's Spirit leads us, the current of our faith runs strong and sure within the banks of His love.

But sometimes, unforeseen things catch us off guard. 

A problem.

    A hardship.

        A loss.

            A life circumstance.

And suddenly we feel as though we've been knocked off our feet and sucked into deep waters.

We feel threatened by the hard, jagged, immovable circumstance just under the surface that we never saw coming.

We are tempted, like the river, to change course. To rush in the opposite direction.

But when we fight God's flow in our lives, the result is an eddy. Swirling waters ultimately going nowhere.

God's Word tells us that He never changes.

Malachi 3:6a says "I the Lord do not change."

Hebrews 13:8 states "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

So we know that the banks of love remain steadfast. And we know that the guidance of His Spirit doesn't switch mid-stream.

He. does. not. change.

An eddy is created because we have chosen to go another way.

Here me correctly. Those under the surface obstacles and chasms...those trials in life...they will happen regardless. Jesus warned "In this world you will have trouble". But He also encouraged "Take heart! I have overcome the world."  However, our reaction to those potential flow-changers is totally our choice.

Are you caught in an eddy today?

There is a way out. John 15:4 says "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me."

Let go of the temptation to let circumstances guide where you go. Abide in His will and He will carry you over the rocks, past the chasms, all in the flow of His love.

It Is Well

Last week we sang It Is Well in church.

As you can tell if you clicked through the link, this is not the famous hymn written by Horatio Spafford, but Kristene DiMarco's modern day version that shares just one of the famous lines and a variation on the accompanying tune "it is well, it is well, with my soul."

Most know the story that led to the original words being penned...

Spafford, a wealthy Chicago lawyer and devout Christian had a wife, four daughters and a son. Tragically, his young son died and not long after, he lost most of the real estate he owned in the Great Chicago Fire.

Two years later, in an effort to give his family a much needed vacation, he booked a boat trip to Europe. When last minute business came up, he sent them on ahead with the promise of catching up in a few days time. The ship collided with another and all four of his daughters drowned.

On board a boat taking him to his grieving wife in England, he wrote the words to It Is Well With My Soul.

The trials and tribulations of my life, difficult as they may have been to this point, pale in comparison to Spafford's. I am amazed at the depth of faith he had to bear so many tragedies and still say "it is well."

Still, as I meditated on the words of the chorus "And through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You. And through it all, through it all it is well. And through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You...and it is well with me" I reflected back over the past year.

It was a year that saw heartache as I shared in Permission to Grieve.

And it was a year that saw triumph even though The Waiting is the Hardest Part.

"So let go my soul and trust in Him. The waves and wind still know His name. It is well with my soul."

These words are so powerful to me. There is incredible freedom in them. Let go. Trust. He is still in control of the waves and wind of life. June 28th will be one year since I began a new journey with a new home, new job, and new church, and I am once again, living proof of His goodness. It really is well with my soul.

Is that easier to say on the other side of the difficulty? Most times, yes.

But saying - and believing - "it is well with my soul" as you're dealing with...

the divorce...

the job loss...

the cancer...

the betrayal of a close friend...

the passing of a loved one...

is where it has real meaning. In the midst of the wind and waves. Facing the mountain in front of us. Feeling the earth quake and pitch beneath our feet. Not knowing exactly what the outcome of the current trial will be. When we can say "it is well with my soul" because "through it all, our eyes are on Him", this is where faith grows.

Take this opportunity to listen to It Is Well if you haven't yet. Close your eyes and ponder..is it well with your soul?  I would love to hear the lessons of faith you have experienced through it all.

God Writes in Neon Colors

"I need a sign, God!!" 

Have you ever cried out those words?

I usually add "and please put it in neon lights so I don't miss it".

All kidding aside, I know that God loves me and guides me, but sometimes I need it expressed in a tangible way. A personal sign from Him to me so I know I'm on the right track. One of my greatest fears is that when I'm making an important decision, I listen to the voice in my head and not to the Spirit in my heart.  I want to make sure I'm doing what God wants me to do.

This past summer was one of those times I needed a tangible sign.  

I had been trying to sort out what to do with the house I'd lived in for the past 28 years.  It's a long story that involved divorce, a court battle, and the fear that I couldn't possibly afford to live anywhere else. Some of that trust journey is described here and in other blog posts throughout the past year.

Every path I took led to a closed door.

I tried not to get frustrated.  I tried to remember that God withholds no good thing from His children, so if the door to keeping my house was closed, there was a better one opening somewhere...and I prayed it opened to something affordable.

One of my friends kept saying "I feel like God has something different for you. Not an apartment complex, but an apartment within a home."  I felt that way too, but everything I looked at was so expensive – two, even three times the cost of my mortgage – and I just didn't have that kind of wiggle room in my budget.

From the beginning, the agent who sold my house told me about another of her listings. I fought seeing it because I felt it was too far from my church and my job. And she kept using words like "really small second bedroom'.  Not to mention, the price was a few hundred more than my target cost.

But when every other possibility had fallen by the wayside, I gave in and agreed to go look at the place with her.

As we rounded the corner onto Main Street I saw a sign that said: 

                                Village of Crosswicks

                                  Founded in 1677 

There was a library in a converted barn, a quaint post office, and a sign on the lawn of the Community Building announcing the upcoming croquet classic.  I felt like I landed in Mayberry.

The door to the right of the house led to an already rented downstairs apartment, and the front door opened up to a staircase to the second floor. We headed up to find 5 freshly painted, tiled and carpeted rooms.  Light flooded in from the many windows.  A full size stackable washer and dryer meant no trips to the laundromat. There was a dish washer - I hadn't had one in decades - enough counter space to do all my baking, and even walk up access to the attic for tons of free storage.

Yes, the “small” second bedroom was tiny.  10 x 6 tiny.  Still, the brightness and cleanliness of the place, plus the surroundings of the quaint village streets, filled me with the first hope I’d felt in a long time.

I was encouraged, but still I prayed for a sign.  I needed to hear God tell me this was right.

A few weekends later I took my niece to the area for some yard sales.  As we passed the house and came to the stop sign at the end of the road, something caught my eye.  I have no idea how I could have missed it before.

It was a large, bright blue, dare I even say ‘neon’ blue, sign.  I threw on my blinker and turned left to see what it said.

As we pulled up I caught my breath and asked my niece to take a picture.

God had given me my sign.  He had been my refuge and strength throughout all the present trouble.  He saw my broken heart, knew my loss, understood my uncertainty, and was there to bind up my wounds.  

It was a personal love note assuring me not only of His promises, but telling me I was where He wanted me. 

As a footnote to all of this, He made the apartment affordable. The landlord agreed to a lower rent, my car insurance premiums plummeted by moving out of the city and into a safer location, and He gave me a wonderful new job serving Him full time just a few months later.

God loves each of us in a personal way...sometimes He even writes it in neon colors.

The Big "IF"

"If" is such a little word with so many implications. It is used to come to conclusions..."If this, then that".  It is used to dream "If only...", and it is used to question the very world around us "what if?"  It's that last one - the what if - that has led to a kind of grass roots movement called "IF:Gathering"...a conference for women like you that will take place early next month.

So if you've ever asked yourself "If God is real...then what?", if you've ever felt you have a purpose but aren't sure of the next steps, if you've ever desired to serve God more fully right where you are, then follow the link to answer the If question.

I'm over at Circlesoffaith.org today writing about one woman's response to the IF question and how you can become involved locally!

Wrapping Up and Looking Forward - My One Word for 2015

It's been a year of trust.

Challenges and blessings, unbelievable lows and exciting highs.

I am so thankful that through it all, God was, is, and always will be, constant.

And I am thankful for so many of you who took that journey of trust with me.

You sent me scriptures, and pictures, and devotionals that contained the word.  When I expressed frustration, or doubt, or fear, you encouraged me to remember my word - and the scripture that accompanied it.  Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."  In return, you often wrote that my journey of trust bolstered your faith, and for that I am humbled and grateful.

A treasured birthday gift I received from a friend last January is a book called "Trust - a Godly woman's adornment" by Lydia Brownback.  I cannot recommend that small book of powerful devotions strongly enough...even if trust isn't your "one word", give it a read and be blessed.

That same friend gave me a journal this Christmas with the words "Trust in the Lord with all your Heart" on the cover, and said "so here you are, wrapping up a year of trust."

Indeed, it is time to wrap up the year, file away the memories, pick a new One Word for 2015.

But you can't file away trust.

After being so incredibly changed by the journey of trust I've been on, I can't put it in a container and store it up in the attic like seasonal clothing.

So I began to pray about my one word for 2015 and how it might build on Trust.

This weekend, a word popped into my head, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't my word, but God's.

The word was Abundance.

I asked God to give me confirmation.  Something I might read, something I might hear, say, during Sunday's sermon.

I heard and saw lots of words that might mean abundance - completeness, fullness, etc. - but they weren't exactly right.

Abundance means: an extremely plentiful or over-sufficient quantity or supply.  Overflowing fullness. And the third definition is what might jump to mind first for many people - affluence, wealth.

The words I was coming across were missing the modifier "over".  More than full. More than complete.

I continued to pray, but no other word came forth.

On Monday, I was reading from my favorite devotional that I have quoted from many times - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  It began with "Trust Me with every fiber of your being!  What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me."  It went on, basically describing my life this past year, and ended with "Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence."

I pondered that.  Consistently (consistency was my 2013 word) trusting (my word for 2014) in Me is vital to flourishing (meaning growing vigorously; thriving; prosperous) in My Presence.

It sounded like it might fit the bill for my hope of "building" on my current word.  But while "flourishing" was close, I was really looking for God to give me the word spelled out - ABUNDANCE.

This morning I once again opened Jesus Calling and read the entry for December 31st...and I thanked God through my laughter.  He's got perfect timing.

"As this year draws to a close, receive My Peace.  This is still your deepest need, and I, your Prince of Peace, long to pour Myself into your neediness. My ABUNDANCE and your emptiness are a perfect match.  I designed you to have no sufficiency of your own.  I created you as a jar of clay, set apart for sacred use.  I want you to be filled with My very Being, permeated through and through with Peace."

God is good.  And He speaks clearly when we listen for His voice.

My One Word for this year is Abundance.

And my scripture verses for the year are among my very favorite - Ephesians 3:20 - 21.  "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever! Amen." (Emphasis mine).

Abundance.  Not in affluence and wealth which can evaporate in a moment in this uncertain world, but in the overflowing fullness of God's love, grace, mercy, and presence that is experienced when we trust in Him. Abundance is the fruit of trusting.  It is a natural progression in our walk with God.  And it is my prayer for all of us in 2015.

Have you considered a "one word" for this coming year?  Read more about the concept here.