It's not because I'm standing my ground or bravely taking an injustice on. Nothing that valiant.
I'm frozen from confusion.
I'm thinking about everything I need to do, should do, want to do...and I have no idea where to begin.
I'm reminded of a quote from that childhood staple, "The Cat in the Hat"...'And this mess is so big, and so deep and so tall, we cannot pick it up. There is no way at all!'
My mess is not a pile of physical things. Well, maybe part of it is. Having just finished a major community outreach project, I'm playing catch up.
Clothes are somewhere between needing to go downstairs to be washed and needing to go upstairs to be folded and put away; the dining room table resembles a messy desk; kitchen counter tops are cluttered and there are dishes in the sink. That alone can slow me down.
But there's more. There are things that need a more concentrated thought process than housework. I need to do some writing and research for an upcoming writer's conference, there's the third installment of my blog series on the Free Market I need to tackle, books to read, emails to send, calls to make. And I'm not even at work this week.
And then there's that tug in my spirit to relax. I want to take these 5 days away from the office and put my toes in the sand, maybe catch a movie, have lunch with a friend. But I feel guilty because of the more 'important' things that need my attention.
And so I stand in the middle of the living room, looking around, uncertain of where or how to begin. Sound at all familiar?
In frustration I sit down on the couch. It would be so easy to flip on the TV, push everything from my mind, and veg out.
Instead, my eye catches my Bible. I open it to Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
A few lines later, I have underlined verse 13 as well: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
And so I remember what that first step should have been. To lay it all down at His feet. Are laundry, and bills, and research assignments earth-shattering issues? No, of course not. I should be grateful that's all I have to deal with today. But still, He wants it all. The big and the small. Like the verse says..."in everything...present your requests to God."
Because when I do that, then "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
He can give me the clarity to prioritize, the strength to tackle it bit by bit, and the peace that relaxes my spirit and restores my soul.
When the 'mess is so big, and so deep and so tall, we cannot pick it up. There is no way at all' it's true...we can't in our strength. But He can. And He will. We just have to ask.