The Despair to Prayer Chronicles - Part 6

When I started this series, I indicated that I had spent a lot of time trying to compose a post about prayer, but nothing I wrote seemed quite right.

I guess God had to bring me through lots of tears and lessons to get to a point where the words would flow. If you haven't read the earlier entries, click here for part 5 which contains links to all the previous posts.

In this last entry, I want to take that look at the "mechanics" of prayer.

I  mentioned last time that I read Bill Hybels book To Busy Not To Pray.

One of the things he talked about was the acrostic A.C.T.S.  If you've been a Christian for any length of time, I'm sure you've heard of it.  It stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication (or requests).

Although I knew the acrostic, for a long time I confused the meaning and purpose of Adoration and Thanksgiving.  Bill talked about acknowledging God for who He is.  Omnipresent.  Omniscient.  Omnipotent.

That's when I began to realize that praising him is not the same as thanking him. 

Acknowledging who he is isn't the same as being grateful for what he's done.  

When you're sitting next to the vastness of the ocean, you begin to get a sense of how immense and complex and creative He is.  Can you even fathom counting the grains of sand on that one beach?  How about space and stars and galaxies...does your mind hurt trying to wrap itself around that enormity? 

Praise Him for He is glorious! 

When you have a more accurate picture of who you're going to in prayer it puts stuff in perspective.

If God created all of this - and holds it together each and every day - can He not handle whatever your problems are? He created you as well. Psalm 139 tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made!  He formed us in our mother's womb and knew us before the beginning of time. 

He loved us with an everlasting love - can we do anything less than sit back on our heels in awestruck wonder...or fall on our faces in utter abandonment saying Abba Father, we adore you?  

As I began processing these thoughts I started to sing the words to an old, simple song of praise:

Father I adore you, lay my life before you, how I love you. 
Jesus I adore you, lay my life before you, how I love you.
Spirit I adore you, lay my life before you, how I love you.

Then another favorite came to mind:

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name. 
Master, Savior, Jesus like the fragrance, after the rain. 
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, let all heaven and earth proclaim...
Kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but there's something about that name.

Now that my heart was in a place where I could truly see His perfection, I also clearly saw many of my imperfections...and I began to confess them. 

Again, the book highlighted things in a way I had not thought of before. 

Bill tells a story of a congregant who came to see him to say he was tired of all this talk of 'sinning.'  As far as he was concerned, he wasn't a sinner.  Bill asked how long he'd been married.  It was a long time - something like 25 years.  Bill said, 'You mean to tell me in all that time you've never been unfaithful to your wife?  You have always done what is right?'  The man replied, 'Well, I'm in sales. You know, I'm on the road a lot.'  He laughed a bit nervously.  Bill said 'He didn't admit it outright, but we both knew what he was getting at.' Then he asked the man, 'Have you ever put down something on an expense report that you shouldn't have? Gotten credit for something that wasn't really applicable?' 'Everyone does' was the reply.'  'And what about the product you sell?  Ever enhance the benefits knowing it wasn't true just to make a sale?' 'That's just industry standard' he argued 'It's expected!'.  Bill looked at this "non-sinner" and said to him, you've just admitted to me that you are an adulterer, a cheat and a liar. 

The man looked shocked. 

'Say it out loud' Bill instructed.  'This is what you are - an adulterer, a cheater and a liar.' 

Wow.  Have you whitewashed your sins? I know I have. Are you just sharing stories or are you a gossip?  Are you  just venting or are you a constant complainer? Do you 'borrow' pens, paper, folders, any kind of office supplies from work? You're a thief. Ugly words, aren't they?  But sin is ugly. 

We have ALL sinned and come short of the glory of God. Instead of denying that fact, why don't you ask forgiveness for it and have it taken away?  Spend time each day asking God to search your heart.  When I'm aware of what I've done that needs confessing, I do...but I also ask that He would show me areas I may not even be aware of.

Now that my heart was lighter, I could truly give thanks. That week I started with thanking Him for the gift of the beach house, for my senses that allowed me to fully drink it all in - sight, sound, smell, touch - for the car that brought me down there, for the job waiting for me when I returned. For the friends who texted to say they were praying for me, for God revealing His love for me through my Bible and the writings of others. For every lesson He loving taught me through the birds, the shell, the consistency of the waves and the rising of the sun. 

The words of another song came to mind and I sang them too:

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks, to the Holy one
Give thanks for He's given Jesus Christ His Son. 
And now, let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us.  Give thanks.

Finally, I brought my requests to God. 

I prayed for my children to return to a right relationship with Him. I prayed for clarity and wisdom on a number of issues where decisions needed to be made. I prayed for the well-being of my friends - not in general terms, but mentioned each by name and lifted their specific situations to Him. I asked that He would guide my ministry, the leaders of my church, and those of our nation. There are always many requests, but with a heart that's been prepared, they don't take on such a 'give me' quality.

As I closed out my prayer time I thanked Him for His promises and His faithfulness to carry them out. 

I opened my Bible, read a few Psalms and sat back silently to listen to what He had to say. 

The words of Habakkuk 2:1 & 2 came to mind...I will stand at my watch, and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what I answer I am to give this complaint. Then the Lord replied: Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.

So this is the conclusion of my journey from Despair to Prayer. I am writing it down and making it plain in the hope that you are able to glean something helpful from it. I pray that God speaks to your heart as clearly as He spoke to mine...I know He will if you seek Him.

The Cat in the Hat vs The God in the Bible

My feet are firmly planted...so much so, I've begun to grow roots.

It's not because I'm standing my ground or bravely taking an injustice on.  Nothing that valiant.
       
                   I'm frozen from confusion.
  
                             Overwhelmed.

                                      Dismayed.

I'm thinking about everything I need to do, should do, want to do...and I have no idea where to begin. 

I'm reminded of a quote from that childhood staple, "The Cat in the Hat"...'And this mess is so big, and so deep and so tall, we cannot pick it up.  There is no way at all!'

My mess is not a pile of physical things.  Well, maybe part of it is.  Having just finished a major community outreach project, I'm playing catch up.

Clothes are somewhere between needing to go downstairs to be washed and needing to go upstairs to be folded and put away; the dining room table resembles a messy desk; kitchen counter tops are cluttered and there are dishes in the sink.  That alone can slow me down.

But there's more.  There are things that need a more concentrated thought process than housework.  I need to do some writing and research for an upcoming writer's conference, there's the third installment of my blog series on the Free Market I need to tackle, books to read, emails to send, calls to make.  And I'm not even at work this week.

And then there's that tug in my spirit to relax.  I want to take these 5 days away from the office and put my toes in the sand, maybe catch a movie, have lunch with a friend.  But I feel guilty because of the more 'important' things that need my attention.

And so I stand in the middle of the living room, looking around, uncertain of where or how to begin.  Sound at all familiar?

In frustration I sit down on the couch.  It would be so easy to flip on the TV, push everything from my mind, and veg out. 

Instead, my eye catches my Bible.  I open it to Philippians 4:6-7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

A few lines later, I have underlined verse 13 as well:  "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

And so I  remember what that first step should have been.  To lay it all down at His feet.  Are laundry, and bills, and research assignments earth-shattering issues?  No, of course not.  I should be grateful that's all I have to deal with today.  But still, He wants it all.  The big and the small.  Like the verse says..."in everything...present your requests to God."

Because when I do that, then "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

He can give me the clarity to prioritize, the strength to tackle it bit by bit, and the peace that relaxes my spirit and restores my soul.

When the 'mess is so big, and so deep and so tall, we cannot pick it up.  There is no way at all' it's true...we can't in our strength.  But He can.  And He will.  We just have to ask.

The Power of Words

I'm making hamburgers for lunch.  As the meat sizzles in the pan, my almost 22  year old son says to me "making monkey brain sandwiches?"

"What?" 

"I don't remember much from childhood" he continues "but I remember you once told me ground beef was monkey brains - that's why I won't eat it."

This is a revelation to me.  I don't ever in my life recall making that reference.  Ever.  But he is insistent.  So, maybe he's right.  Maybe I joked about it never thinking that it would cause such a strong reaction in him.

As someone who loves words I thought I was very aware of what these little symbols on a page can do.  My "love language" is words of affirmation, so I know when you express words audibly, with emotion and inflection behind them, they have even greater power to bring joy or sorrow, healing or pain.

It's one of the reasons why, when this same son and I used to share a computer, he would groan if he wanted to use it and I was already on.

"What's the matter?  I'll be off in a minute...I'm just writing a quick email."

"There is no such thing as a quick email for you" he'd complain.  "You don't just write them, you write and re-write!"

In fact, that's true.  A friend of mine says I don't write emails so much as 'craft' them.  I try to be thorough and clear since there are no verbal cues to indicate intent.

It's so easy to take words and how we use them for granted. 

I lead a prayer group once a month. We're reading and discussing "Too Busy Not To Pray" by Bill Hybels.  This past week, there was a section entitled "Mean What We Say."  He talks about using 'sanctified jargon' while praying, saying that many may not even think about the implications of what they are saying. 

He gives this example "Dear Lord, please be with me as I go on this new job interview" or "be with me as I go on this trip."  When you first hear it, the request sounds holy.  Unfortunately, it doesn't make sense.  I'm often tempted to ask the one who is praying, "why do you ask God to do what he is already doing?"  In Matthew 28:20 Jesus says, "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  In Hebrews 13:5, God says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  ...One of Jesus' names, Emmanuel, means "God with us."  We don't need to ask God to be with us if we are members of his family.  Instead we need to pray that we will be aware of his presence, that we will be confident because of it."  Seems so obvious when he puts it that way, doesn't it?  But I'm sure we've all been guilty of something similar.

The Bible has much to say on the power of words.  Proverbs especially dedicates many verses to the subject. 13:3 warns "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin."  16:34 instructs "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." and 18:21 says "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." There are are many more examples, but I'm sure you get the idea...words can be a weapon or a healing salve...or in the case of what I'm assuming must have been a teasing, off-the-cuff remark, they have the power to alter how someone else views things, good or bad.

So here's my challenge to you today.  Think before you speak.  Whether or not your conversation is emotionally charged, your words have a lasting effect on others.  Use them to encourage, teach and uplift.  And never, ever tell a kid that ground beef is really monkey brains LOL!

True Rest

There's the faintest light behind the shades pulled down over my bedroom windows.  Dawn.  I open an eye and see the time.  The alarm won't go off for another hour, but now that sleep has been disturbed, I can't coax it to return.  I roll over and hug my pillow, desperate to get a few more moments of rest, but a million things begin to invade my mind.  This is not how I want to start my day.  Lord, quiet my thoughts.  I begin to pray.  Instead of complaining about sleep lost, I try to be thankful that I have awakened to another day, safe in my clean bed and warm house.  I praise God for my senses that allowed me to view the light, hear the faint ticking of the clock, smell the wood burning in the fireplace of a neighbor's home, feel the softness of my cat's fur as she rubs her head under my chin, hoping to rouse me so I'll feed her.  What else am I thankful for?  I think about heading downstairs to heat the water for a cup of tea.  I'll pull a bowl out of the cabinet and fill it with Cherrios, slice a banana over it, and add some milk.  Thank you Lord that I have a kitchen stocked with my choice of cereal, fresh fruit and milk...that I can turn on a tap to fill my kettle for tea.  How many of my neighbors have enough food on their table?  How many in this world have the luxury of walking into a store with dozens upon dozens of options just for their cereal bowl?  Or a dozen choices of milk?  How many will have to walk miles to a well for water instead of  descending down a flight of stairs?  And if I choose not to drink it from the tap, I can just open up a bottle because I've chosen to pay for what is essentially free!  How silly is that?


My mind is no longer on sleep.  I begin to think of friends who are going through difficult times.  With their kids.  Their spouses.  Their jobs.  Their lack of jobs.  Their health.  So many to pray for, how can I fit them all in?

Now I'm up, making that breakfast I thought about.  I by-pass the computer without hesitation and put my mug and bowl on a tray table as I curl up on the couch with my devotional and Bible.  "Come to Me and rest.  I am all about you, to bless and restore. Breathe Me in with each breath."  Today's devotional is based on Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

I thought rest would come with sleep, but true rest is here.  In His Word.  At His feet.  Laying my burdens down before the day even begins.  Being in His presence shows me clearly how I am blessed.  Beginning my day with thanksgiving has chased away the doubts.  He has been faithful to provide.  He has a track record that is perfect.  He will be faithful going forward.  Asking Him to meet the needs of others has taken my mind off of me.  THIS is how I want my day to begin.  Fully focused on Him.  I read on in my devotional "Lift up empty hands of faith to receive My precious Presence.  Light, Life, Joy, and Peace flow freely through this gift.  When your focus turns away from Me, you grasp for other things.  You drop the glowing gift of My Presence as you reach for lifeless ashes.  Return to Me; regain My Presence."  Amen

From Despair to Prayer - Part 4

For my 3 day respite, I'd brought 6 books to read in addition to my Bible - always an over achiever!  I wanted to crack them open, but that first day spent laying back in my beach chair I was shocked at how tired I was.  For hours, I floated in and out of consciousness, soaking up the warmth of the sun.  My body and mind needed even more rest than I had thought.  I did open my Bible long enough to read Psalm 42 which begins and ends this way...  "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When can I go and meet with God?  My tears have been my food day and night...Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

When can I go and meet with God?  Anytime, anywhere.  As I said in the first part of this saga, He had never left...he was waiting for me to come to him and lay down my cares, but I was too angry, frustrated, tired, and full of excuses, to seek his face.  And so my soul was downcast and disturbed.  But like the psalmist, despite the tears and sadness and time apart, my soul still thirsted for God and I knew I had to make my way back.  Once you've met with Him in a personal way, the world is not right when you're apart.  So that day, as I read the Psalm all the way through without interruption or distraction, I once again felt myself longing after what had been missing for weeks...that sweet, powerful time alone with God in communion and prayer.  Finally, I was able to move on the next sentence..."Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

After several hours of cat naps, and reading, and people watching, and just staring at the outgoing tide, I decided to take a walk up the beach.  As I walked and watched the birds, I noticed the sandpipers.  These little skittish birds are funny to observe.
They travel in groups, making quick, sharp movements.  Up the sand they run just ahead of the waves.  Then they turn, and dash toward the water, stopping occasionally to poke their rather long beaks into the beach trying desperately to catch and eat the tiniest of crabs as they burrow back into the sand.  "So many people are just like those sandpipers" I thought.  "Running up and down, back and forth, never seeming to accomplish anything, never stopping to enjoy their surroundings, never breaking from the crowd...just scurrying to and fro on a relentless quest to do enough to survive."  Lately, I'd had a sandpiper mentality and it became very clear just how utterly exhausting it was to exist that way! 

The seagulls were an interesting bunch too.  There was variety in their coloring - some white, some grey, some a combo of the two, some brown, some speckled - and variety in their behavior.  Some seagulls strutted the beach crying in loud, piercing gasps.

Perhaps they were angry at other gulls for stealing their food or maybe they just liked to complain.  Since I don't speak gull very fluently, it was tough to know for sure other than they seemed an unhappy lot.  Then there were the gulls who just stood their ground in the sand.  Let the meal come to them seemed to be their attitude.  Eventually something will wash up and all they'd have to do is reach over and peck a bit to satisfy their hunger.  Others seemed oblivious to all the activity and just tucked their beaks under their feathers and snoozed...I could relate to them today!  Then there were the gulls in the air.  For the most part, they were no different than the sandpipers really.  They circled and dove and fought off other seagulls from the boundaries of their airspace that no one but them could see.  But then there were a few who really held my attention.  They were the ones who spread their wings and kind of hung in the air.  There was a pretty good breeze blowing but they weren't pushed off course.  They faced into the wind and kept aloft, using what some might consider a problem, to their advantage.  They kind of rose above it all...watching, anticipating, facing into the winds of change, not losing momentum.  I wanted to be like them.  Not being busy all over the place, not complaining loudly to anyone who'd listen, not oblivious to everything, hiding from life, or even fighting to hold on to my perceived rights...no, I wanted to soar.  I wanted to have the staying power necessary to face the winds of adversity and use them...not be pushed around by them.  How like God to teach a lesson so simple and clear through His creation.

So how does one achieve that staying power?  Through prayer.  Despair had finally begun to lift...it was time to move fully and completely into a place of prayer.  And that's the story for tomorrow...