Gorillas & Mules & Fools - Oh My!

Have you ever wanted to get something off your chest?  Put it all out on the table?  Address the gorilla in the room?  You know it's something that might have consequences once the words are out there but at that very moment, you're convinced you don't care - you just want to speak your mind!

I'm not always good at muzzling my thoughts.  (Right now those who know me best are uttering a sarcastic "Nooooooooooo, really?!!")  I have been known on more than one occasion to speak out of impulse and emotion because I just couldn't STAND the injustice of the situation another minute!

Basically, I stink at waiting.  That's problematic since waiting is generally needed for discernment, because waiting is often required to hear from God. 

On those occasions when I do manage to wait, it's often not silently and reverently with an ear toward the whisper in the wind. No, I'm much more likely to become head of the debate team. 

Yes, I, mere mortal that I am, try to explain to the God of the universe (read: argue with) why I should act in a certain manner. Forget that I'm full of faults and my past behavior of being the fool who rushes in where angels fear to tread has caused me nothing but embarrassment, heartache, or a full belly of crow. This time will be different!

Such was the case for me recently. I wrote a response to an email that I really, really, REALLY wanted to send. I was chomping at the bit to make my thoughts known, but I was counseled by two friends not to send it. I tweaked it. I saved it. I re-read it. I tried to talk both myself and my friends into the validity of it. They disagreed. I tweaked it some more.

The next day, I did what I should have done in the first place. I prayed for wisdom and discernment.  My prayer wasn't exactly textbook holy...it kind of went like this: "Lord, you know I can be stupid...please speak to me clearly through your Word this morning so I know what to do."

Be careful what you ask for if you really don't mean what you say. The devotional I read talked about being silent before God.  Seeking His face for guidance. I read the accompanying scriptures which were along the same vein, but then I noticed the previous year I had written in another scripture passage. I must behave this way more than I realize.

Psalm 32:8-9 says "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you."

Did I mention I had been 'chomping at the bit' to send the email? 

I deleted it. 

There's a saying "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt." It's very close to Proverbs 17:28 which says "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."

Actually, Proverbs has a lot to say about fools. In 18:2 we read "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions" and in verse 7 of the same chapter it says "A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul." 

I'm sure if modern technology had been around in Biblical times the verses could just as easily have been written "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in posting all his opinions on Facebook" and "A fool's keyboard is his undoing and his texts and emails are a snare to his soul." 

I don't know about you, but while I aspire to be many things, a fool is not among them. 

Words, whether spoken or written, can never be taken back. Once that "send" button is pushed, you may just be opening your mouth and removing all doubt as to your foolishness. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer with clear instruction and providing a second chance to act wisely!

The Power of Words

I'm making hamburgers for lunch.  As the meat sizzles in the pan, my almost 22  year old son says to me "making monkey brain sandwiches?"

"What?" 

"I don't remember much from childhood" he continues "but I remember you once told me ground beef was monkey brains - that's why I won't eat it."

This is a revelation to me.  I don't ever in my life recall making that reference.  Ever.  But he is insistent.  So, maybe he's right.  Maybe I joked about it never thinking that it would cause such a strong reaction in him.

As someone who loves words I thought I was very aware of what these little symbols on a page can do.  My "love language" is words of affirmation, so I know when you express words audibly, with emotion and inflection behind them, they have even greater power to bring joy or sorrow, healing or pain.

It's one of the reasons why, when this same son and I used to share a computer, he would groan if he wanted to use it and I was already on.

"What's the matter?  I'll be off in a minute...I'm just writing a quick email."

"There is no such thing as a quick email for you" he'd complain.  "You don't just write them, you write and re-write!"

In fact, that's true.  A friend of mine says I don't write emails so much as 'craft' them.  I try to be thorough and clear since there are no verbal cues to indicate intent.

It's so easy to take words and how we use them for granted. 

I lead a prayer group once a month. We're reading and discussing "Too Busy Not To Pray" by Bill Hybels.  This past week, there was a section entitled "Mean What We Say."  He talks about using 'sanctified jargon' while praying, saying that many may not even think about the implications of what they are saying. 

He gives this example "Dear Lord, please be with me as I go on this new job interview" or "be with me as I go on this trip."  When you first hear it, the request sounds holy.  Unfortunately, it doesn't make sense.  I'm often tempted to ask the one who is praying, "why do you ask God to do what he is already doing?"  In Matthew 28:20 Jesus says, "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  In Hebrews 13:5, God says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  ...One of Jesus' names, Emmanuel, means "God with us."  We don't need to ask God to be with us if we are members of his family.  Instead we need to pray that we will be aware of his presence, that we will be confident because of it."  Seems so obvious when he puts it that way, doesn't it?  But I'm sure we've all been guilty of something similar.

The Bible has much to say on the power of words.  Proverbs especially dedicates many verses to the subject. 13:3 warns "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin."  16:34 instructs "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." and 18:21 says "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." There are are many more examples, but I'm sure you get the idea...words can be a weapon or a healing salve...or in the case of what I'm assuming must have been a teasing, off-the-cuff remark, they have the power to alter how someone else views things, good or bad.

So here's my challenge to you today.  Think before you speak.  Whether or not your conversation is emotionally charged, your words have a lasting effect on others.  Use them to encourage, teach and uplift.  And never, ever tell a kid that ground beef is really monkey brains LOL!