You Are Invited

In my last blog post, Broken Wings, I encouraged those who were hurting to allow God to use their brokenness to be an encouragement to others.  I also said when we expose that brokenness, then others have an opportunity to offer help and to pray for us.

Today, I am exposing some of that brokenness in me.  

I have battled a "weight problem" for more years than I care to remember.  But the problem is not my weight.  It is all the underlying causes - from my inability to battle the cravings that lead to the weight gain to the pride that keeps me from fully submitting the issues to God and a few more things in between.

There are a host of excuses I could offer up...totally justifiable explanations if you asked me just last week.

Like the fact that I deliberately started to gain so that false accusations of infidelity by a mentally and verbally abusive spouse would stop.  After all, men don't pay as much attention to the heavy girls, right?

But the mocking of and disgust over my weight gain by that very same person contributed to a downward spiral of emotional eating whenever I was depressed, happy, lonely, fearful, anxious or just disgusted with myself. Unfortunately, blaming the other party only holds so much water.  I've been out of that abusive relationship for 7 years, and I am still unable to drop anywhere near all the pounds for any length of time.

Sometimes I'd try to diet - all sensible approaches - but nothing gave lasting results.  30 pounds down, I would begin a slow but steady climb back up...over and over during the past 15 - 20 years.

Then, the other day, I read about  Proverbs 31 OBS - OBS for Online Bible Study - on the (in)courage web site.  The study?  "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst.

I saw the cover picture of the book and thought "I have that somewhere". Someone, at some point in time, had given it to me. Perhaps, for such a time as this.  I was amazed that in my extensive library of books, I was able to put my hands on it in just a minute or two.  Must be a sign.

The subtitle is "Satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food".  I need to know how to do that.

So, I went online and signed up.  It was easy.  Far easier than I'm assuming this study will be.  Submission is never a simple task.  It is a deliberate act of the will.  And remember, being willful is one of my "issues".

This quote from Chapter 1 told me that Lysa really understands what I'm dealing with..."The weight loss company's theory is to teach what foods are more filling and encourage consumption of those.  But does that really help overcome cravings?  For me, it does not.  The answer will never be found in only learning to modify my choices.  Choosing better foods is certainly a part of this journey.  However, simply telling me to eat healthier foods that will help me feel full longer doesn't address the heart of the matter.  I can feel full after a meal and still crave chocolate pie for dessert."

Yep, Lysa TerKeurst gets it...and I'm excited to read and discuss how she will address the heart of the matter.

The OBS starts today, Sunday, January 19th.  It goes for six weeks.  While the subtitle mentions food, this is a study that I am told will help you with whatever that craving is that you give in to and put before God.  You can read more about it by clicking through on the Proverbs 31 OBS link in this post.

Although I'd love to lose some weight, I'm more excited over the possibility of once and for all learning how I can take these misplaced cravings and transfer them into a greater craving for God.  I trust and believe the rest will follow.

I'm asking for your prayers as I embark on this journey.  Putting something like this out there for all to see is a scary step for me.  But there are over 36,000 women from all over the world who will be taking this path along with me over the next 6 weeks. You are invited too...will you join me?

Adventures in Community Outreach - Growing Roots

I can still remember sitting in the office, talking to two of my pastors.

"But how will this be different?" one asked.

It was a valid question.  I had been part of a ministry that reached out to a local homeless shelter for women and children.  Initially, we were successful in bringing half a dozen women to the church each Sunday in our church van.  When they moved into their own housing around town, we used a second van to do a loop around the city to pick them up for services and special events.

The first van continued heading to the shelter, week in and week out for over 18 months with no results. During that same time, many of the regulars on the second van became sporadic in attendance, dropping out one by one for a variety of reasons.  The drivers and ministry leadership were discouraged and eventually, van service to the shelter stopped and that ministry was shut down.

Now here I was, a few short months later telling them I felt very strongly that God was telling me to go out into the community.  Their concern was understandable.

"I know it sounds crazy, but honestly, God just won't leave me alone about this."

I explained how a book they had given me at a leadership meeting had said some things that really started me thinking.  It talked about not reinventing the wheel.  Taking the volunteer base of your church and partnering with organizations already doing good works in the community. 

"It's different because this time we'll be like a clearing house of ideas.  We'll match community needs with congregational gifts...and we won't put all our eggs in one basket like we did last time."

I tried to speak with the certainty of my convictions, but in truth, all I knew was that I had tried to brush aside the voice several times, but it always came back again, stronger than before. 

I've written other posts about starting with a food drive, moving beyond our walls to refurbish a "Dress for Success" office, and eventually, doing a makeover for Preservation House, a local shelter.

While doors closed at the women's shelter just a year before, they seemed to swing wide open at Preservation House.

I had never heard of Preservation House until one of those ladies from the van, one who had continued to come to our church, found herself in need of assistance again and landed there.

Right away, this place captured our hearts.  As the congregation took part in the "Adopt a Room" outreach at "PH" as we call it, we got to know some of the families and we followed up with a meal at Thanksgiving and a party at Christmas. We wanted to foster relationships with these families and begin to grow roots at the facility.  To that end, we started a "welcome basket" ministry.  The residents who leave for their own housing get a laundry basket filled with kitchen, bathroom and heath and beauty products to get them started in their new homes.  A Bible and info on the church are included as one last way to reach out and make a connection before they leave the shelter.


In June, during our Central Cares Day outreach, we included PH as one of our work sites, creating an inviting waiting room for visitors, teen room complete with cool seating, fuzzy pillows and flat screen tv and a resource room with tons of books and table space for studying.


But back when we did that first makeover in 2010, God planted a new dream in my heart.  To bring a life skills training course to the residents of the house.  I saw how small changes in their lifestyle could make better use of their meager resources.  So much money was wasted using check cashing services instead of maintaining a checking account.  Food stamps used at the local drug store for groceries could stretch 2 or 3 times as far if they shopped at a food store and used coupons.  I was sure there were other areas where small steps could make big changes too.

I had the dream, but had no idea how to execute it.  I talked to different people about it - one of our contacts at the Salvation Army said he had a program they used, but somehow, we never connected.  I'd bring it up in our planning meetings now and again, and although everyone agreed it was a great idea, still, no plan emerged.

Then one night at a women's Bible study, something happened.  The study was a video series on the book of Jonah and featured Priscilla Shirer, who talked about whether things that come up in our lives are interruptions, or divine interventions.  Priscilla offered the idea that an "interruption" is actually God's invitation to do something beyond our wildest dreams.  When Jonah was willing to allow God to interrupt his life, the result was revival in an entire city!   At the end of the study, Priscilla encouraged those taking part to find their Nineveh and make a difference.

As we discussed possible ideas, I mentioned my dream of a Life Skills class for PH.  One woman in the class came to me and said "I wrote a program like that for my master's thesis...maybe we could bring it to PH."

I asked the pastors to review the program and they gave it a thumbs up. Then I sent the outline to the social worker at the shelter...she liked it.  It has taken the better part of a year since then, but it is obvious that it is God's perfect timing.

The program consists of 8 modules in 3 sections.  Subjects include parental involvement in your child's school, building a network of support, discovering community resources, resume writing, learning about the importance of credit and basic banking, and creating a budget.  The most amazing thing was watching God move just the right people into place to teach each of these classes...the retired principal, the VP of a financial company, employees of the state welfare department, someone who facilitates "Financial Peace University" in our church.  From just one brainstorming meeting for names of people to reach out to for training, we got 90% of our staff.

Although I'm not a church staff member, I am invited to the annual calendar planning meeting since the ministry I head up impacts the entire congregation.  None of the staff had any idea how much progress had been made and who had volunteered to be faculty.  The looks of wonder and amazement around the table as they read over my notes, made my day.

On September 23, 2013, almost 3 years after God gave me the dream, I watched it come to fruition. 12 women attended the first ever Life Skills seminar.

Each person received their own "kit".  A binder with a notebook, one pocket folder (to hold the many informational brochures gathered), a pen, calculator (they'll be creating a budget during the last week), a coupon holder and a 2 year planner.

We were so encouraged by the interest and interaction of our "students". They were engaged, supportive of each other's comments, and genuinely seemed happy to be there.

The exit survey we gave them came back with wonderful feedback, many rating their experience "excellent" and all said they would recommend it to others and be back again the following week.  Also exciting was how many women freely took a Bible - in fact, several who missed taking one from the information table came running after us in the parking lot to get one before we left.

Even more amazing was the phone call I had with the shelter administration this week.  I called to find out the head count for this coming Monday and to determine if childcare was needed.

"I'm so glad you called, Miss Toni!  The two houses we run for men will now be open all day and Dr. Johnson wants to know if you can bring the same kind of programs to the men."

We suggested a Bible study, mentoring, life skills training and a Celebrate Recovery class and the response from shelter administration was "just gather the dates and let's start planning to get you in here."

How will this time be different?

It is night and day.

It is beyond my wildest dreams.  God closed doors so we would head to more fertile ground.  Roots are taking hold.  We pray lives will be changed, and how can they not be when God is so obviously the one working all things together?

Eph. 3:20-21 "God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!  He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.  Glory to God in the church!  Glory to God in the Messiah, In Jesus!  Glory down all the generations!  Glory through all millennia!  Oh, yes!" (The Message)