The Back Story

Over at God-sized Dreams they're talking about the back story to their God-sized dream this week.




Mine started with rejection.  

No, I wasn't the least popular kid in school.

In fact, I'm probably one of the few who actually enjoyed high school.

I ran track and played field hockey.

I was in the chorus, advanced chorus and drama clubs.  I even won first place for a duet I sang with my now Broadway actor friend in the "Cultural Olympics" - the artsy kid's answer to competition at my very sports-oriented high school.

I was National Honor Society.  I was 10th in my class of 440.

I was an achiever.  And, I was a believer.

But...I had absolutely no self-confidence whatsoever because I put my trust and faith in a person who always belittled my achievements.  And then I married him.

Why do some of our greatest hurts come from the very people who should offer protection?

After years of negativity spoken over me, I was convinced I was no one, with nothing to offer.

Eventually, I sought solace in the church.  I put my faith and trust into doing things.  I began by organizing a women's retreat.  After approaching someone to ask why we hadn't had one in several years, I was handed a stack of folders and told to "have at it".

Anyone who's ever coordinated a women's retreat will truly appreciate this...in less than six months, I found a location, a speaker, put together an agenda, and signed up 50 or so women.  Success, right?

No!!

Instead of appreciation, I was bombarded by complaints about the speaker, the content, the meals, you name it.

Why do some of our greatest hurts come from within the very place that should offer healing?

I came home from that retreat scarred and defeated.  So much so, that the following year, when I once again led the retreat team, my unsaved husband said "Why would you do that to yourself?  They ate you alive last year!"  Even he saw what the experience had done to me.

I wish I could say that rejection ended there.  But life is not perfect.  People are not perfect.  The church is not perfect.

Still, there is a difference in my life today.  When rejection comes, it does not mean all is lost.  Joel 2:25 says "So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, my great army which I sent among you."

What I now realize is that although painful, each experience, each rejection, moved me on to something or someplace else.  And with each new thing, another piece of the puzzle fit into place.  My faith and trust is now in God alone.  Rejection has led to restoration.  And restoration has equipped me to begin living a God-sized dream.

What has God used in your life to equip you for His purposes?  I'd love to hear your story in the comments...

Mend A Fence

This morning my friend is grieving the loss of her brother.  He was just 34.

A little more than 24 hours ago she got a call from the hospital that he was in bad shape and family should make the four hour trip to see him.

There wasn't much hope.

By the time she arrived, he was unconscious and via the occasional Facebook post, we all shared in the roller coaster of emotions - glimmers of hope followed by bits of bad news.

Ultimately, he lost the battle.

Whenever something like this hits close to home, we tend to stop and reflect and insert ourselves into the situation.

Sadly, there is a rift between my sister and I at this very moment.  My brother lives a life on the "edge" and I haven't seen or spoken to him in over a year.  What if that had happened to one of us?  Would there be time to say "I'm sorry?" or "I love you?"

Maybe your family situation isn't as dysfunctional as mine.  Maybe your family unit is close and loving.  But I'm willing to bet somewhere in your life - relationships with friends, family, neighbors or co-workers - there's a fence that needs to be mended.

Life can change in an instant.   

Petty differences need to be resolved. 

If we're going to live a life that declares Christ, we need to practice love, repentance and forgiveness.  Before posting this, I wrote to my sister in an effort to do just that.  If I knew how to reach my brother, I'd contact him too. I don't know if my efforts will bring resolution or not, but I had to try.

Of course, we also need to share the message of salvation with those we know.  We don't want to lose them for eternity when we lose them from this life.  But they won't give us that opportunity if there are hurts between us.  

My challenge to you today is to mend a fence.  Hug your loved ones.  Tell your friends you appreciate them.  Thank a co-worker or neighbor.  Tell them about the love of Christ by showing them through your actions.  Life is short - even shorter than we expect sometimes.  Make every moment count.

Devouring Locusts, Devastating Loss and Divine Love

Joel 2:25  The Lord says, “I will give you back what you
lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.  It was I who sent
this great destroying army against you.

I hate insects.  If it crawls, it might take some time for me to muster up the courage to kill it, but I can generally dispose of crawling critters without help.  Hopping bugs are another matter - hopping spiders, crickets, grasshoppers...unpredictable little stinkers I'm afraid will hop on ME definitely elicit a scream and a cry for help.   Then there are the  'swarming' bugs.  Annoying ones like gnats and  mosquitoes to painful or potentially deadly insects like wasps, hornets and bees.  For them, I've got a shot of Raid from a distance!  Ugh!!

But the Bible mentions one insect I've only encountered in the "proverbial sense".  Locusts.  Frankly, before reading Joel, I had no idea there were so many KINDS of locusts...and one sounds more repulsive than the next!  Swarming locusts, hopping locusts, stripping and cutting locusts!  Just the description makes them sound terrifying, dangerous and ruthless!

Locusts make their Biblical debut in Exodus as one of the plagues on Egypt when Pharaoh hardened his heart and wouldn't let the Israelites leave.  Pretty much with the exception of them being listed on the menu of John the Baptist, they are always mentioned in connection with destruction.  In fact, did you know that as winged adults, flying in swarms, locusts can be carried by the wind hundreds of miles from their breeding grounds?  These flying lawnmowers can grow up to 6 inches long, and when they land, they devour all vegetation. 


I can't even imagine what it would be like to live through something like a swarm of locusts...I get nervous just watching Alfred Hitchcock's movie "The Birds"!  And yet, in some ways, I have lived through a swarm.  There have been times when I felt my life was like a field of desolation in the wake of a locust invasion.  Everything appeared to have been eaten. Just like the Biblical description, the locusts came in waves.  When I thought it was over and there was something left to harvest, the next wave came in and took more from me.

The swarming locusts came early - as a result of poor choices in young adulthood - an abortion and a rocky, unhealthy, unequally yoked marriage.  The hopping locusts came in things I had no control over - the death of my mom, the loss of my job.  The cutting and stripping locusts came to glean the fields of the stubble...separation and divorce after 31 years of marriage.

One day, in the midst of all the infestations and devastation, I found Joel 2:25 and clung to the first half of the verse with everything in me.  "I will give you back"...some translations say "I will pay you back" or "I will restore the years the locusts have eaten."  I took that to mean that God would rescue me from my misery.  That He would give me a man who loved me, perhaps financial security, happiness.  But today, I look at that verse differently.

Just recently I saw I'd been missing an integral part of that verse - the last part that says, "It was I who sent this great destroying army against you."  Ouch!  Why would He do that?

Some might argue those locusts were punishment for sins committed on my part.  Although I've long since asked forgiveness for those things which were in my control and believe forgiveness was granted, I also know there are consequences of our sin and we must live with those.  On the other hand, one could bring up Job and all that he suffered without sinning.  It could simply be because we live in a fallen world and this side of heaven we will always have to deal with pain and suffering.  Regardless of the reasons why, the important lesson is that God, in His divine love, used those devouring locusts and that devastating destruction to teach me, mold me, and grow me into the person I am today. 

And these days, that's what I think it really means to have the years restored.  I walk with God like never before in my life.  I've been restored to wholeness.  I have not fleeting happiness, but lasting joy.   God uses all those experiences to give me a way to relate to so many others.  I don't know if there will ever be a man in my life or enough money to live comfortably.   But I do know I've counseled young women on avoiding or dealing with bad relationship choices and the unseen scars of abortion.  I can empathize with those who have lost a parent or a job and share with them how God helped me move on from grief and reinvent myself in the job market.  And I can encourage someone going through divorce so they know they can recover and move on.

Through the CommunityConnections ministry I head up in my church, God allows me to share His vision of restoration for lives in our community that have been devoured and devastated as well.  This is how the years have been given back to me.  I am learning and teaching, I am productive and joyous, I am a living testimony to God's restoring grace and divine love.